Marriage between men and women (there is no other way) is an institution which has for it’s establishment God, Himself.  He created Eve as a helpmeet for Adam, so that he would not be alone.

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. [19] And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. [20] And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. [21] And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; [22] And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. [23] And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. [24] Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave o unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. – Genesis 2:18-24 KJV

Imagine, The Lord God established marriage by a quick (by His standards) surgical procedure.  He caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, took a rib, and created, out of his flesh, woman.  This simple act, covering just a short time, and a short amount of space in the Bible, is of most importance.

To some, marriage is dear.  To others it is drear.

Much ink has been spilled on the subject of marriage. Even with that there are still approximately 1/2 of all marriages that end up in divorce.  Why is this?  Most marriage vows have the words, “to death do us part.” 

Magazines, both secular and Christian, have entire issues about “How to Have a Happy Marriage,” and other variations of the theme.  Countless books have been written. Marriage Counseling has become a big business.  Even much of the “church” devotes weeks on end about improving relationships.

All of these things focus on the physical needs of the couple, and how they MUST accommodate those felt needs.  This is actually the modus operandi (M.O.) of the modern church, in general.  After all, if you raise up the “feelings level” things will improve tempoarily.  But, what happens when those good feelings are lower?

We have a problem, Houston!

The missing element in all these things is the Grace of God!  Yes, a marriage counselor, or therapist, may actually mouth the words, “Grace of God,” but they are merely using window dressing to cover a greater problem.

The greater problem – SELF

Yes, it is not just the problem with the husband OR wife.  It is the problem of both.  Something which I tell any couple getting married, whether young, or old is this:

MARRIAGE IS THE PROCESS OF TWO SINFUL, SELFISH, SPOILED PEOPLE BECOMING ONE FLESH.

This is definitely hard work, contrasted with Hollywood’s fairy tale weddings.  Marriage is indeed hard, but incredibly rewarding at the same time.  Marriage is not give and take.  It is give and give!

The pattern laid out for the Body of Christ is also a pattern for the roles of husband and wife.

Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; [21] Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. [22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. [23] For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. [24] Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. [25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; [26] That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, [27] That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. [28] So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. [29] For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: [30] For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. [31] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. [32] This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. [33] Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. – Ephesians 5:20-33 KJV

1. It all begins with thanksgiving
   1. Thanksgiving for salvation
   2. Thanksgiving for each-other
2. Submission to one another
   1. Wives to their husbands
   2. As husbands submit to Christ
      1. He follows what Christ did
         1. Christ laid His life down for the church
         2. Husbands should lay down their lives for their wife
            1. This can only be done through the humility of thanksgiving.
3. Husbands, love your wife
4. Wives, reverence your husband

The greatest path for individual sanctification is through the avenue of thanksgiving.  Are you thankful for what the Lord has done? After all, He suffered, bled, and died to save you.  

Because of that, you can live a life of total victory in Jesus! This is also the way to a marriage to be “built upon the Rock.”  Husbands, and wives; Are you thankful for the provision of God? The provision of salvation, as well as the provision of one-another?

Victory IN Jesus
O victory in Jesus
My Savior, forever
He sought me and He bought me
With His redeeming blood
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him
He plunged me to victory
Beneath the cleansing flood

Is there a perfect marriage? When we look through the physical lens of human existence the answer is a big, fat “NO!”  But, if we look through the spiritual lens of Scripture the answer is a big, fat “YES!” The not so secret secret for everything in life is to understand who you are in Jesus Christ.

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in vain. (Galatians 2:20-21)

Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more. Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. (2 Corinthians 5:16-17)

Bob Picard, Pastor of God’s Grace Bible Church, Millbury, Massachusetts

www.godsgracebc.org info@godsgracebc.org