Dr. James Dobson vs. Paul

As I’m sure many know, Dr. James Dobson passed away last this week. He was 89. Millions knew him as the host of Focus on the Family. He was the child psychologist who “answered hundreds of thousands of parenting questions and urged Christians to fight in America’s ‘civil war of values.’”

Hmm. “A civil war of values.” Is that the kind of war we are in now? How should we, as grace believers, think about Dobson’s stance on a civil war of values? Where do you ever read in Paul’s epistles about restoring moral values in the Roman Empire by focusing on family values? How exactly does one restore a nation’s culture this way?

Mark my words and mark them well. The best hope for a culture isn’t some TV / radio program speaking Christianese and talking broadly about family values.

The best hope for a culture is sharing the gospel. The best hope for a culture is helping people learn who they are in Christ, helping people to understand God and their Bibles through right division and the sound doctrines of grace.

“Family values” naturally springs from the gospel and the Word.

I love the idea of a Christian program helping marriages and families and parents struggling to raise their children. That’s one thing. But if you want to change a culture, promoting family values on the radio or TV isn’t going to cut it. Nothing has a better track record of transforming lives than the gospel of grace and the Word of God.

I used to listen to Dobson a few times occasionally in the ‘90s, but I don’t remember him ever sharing the gospel. Everything was always so – MEH. If they ever delved into doctrine, it was usually mud, or it was milk, and most of the time, even the milk was so watered down, it barely tasted like milk. More like watered down, curdled milk.

Here’s a great example in this FOF article about self-esteem. It’s so MEH. It’s so lacking in solid Biblical truth about who you are in Christ, which is what truly edifies and transforms a saint. I’m not opposed to the idea of a person having good self-esteem, but I’d suggest that your self-esteem should be rooted in who you are in Christ. You love what Christ accomplished for you at Calvary. You love what God made you in Christ. You love this eternal life you have. You love your life of peace and grace that God has given you. You find your value in who you are in Christ, which has always been God’s design. There’s nothing wrong with loving your life, loving this grace life you have, but to God should be all the praise and thanksgiving for everything you are.

You can’t talk about Dobson without also talking about discipline. He was a strict disciplinarian. So much of his content, it seemed to me, was focused on behavioral reform in children accomplished largely through discipline. There’s a place for discipline, but that’s not the solution to everything either. Let us not forget that grace teaches us as Paul tells us in Titus 2:11–14. Grace actually trains you on how to live. When did Dobson ever advocate learning how to live from grace? Raising up a child isn’t always about changing behavior through outward pressure but leading and guiding because of their inward transformation. There’s a difference between outward behavioral reform and inward regeneration. Dobson’s ministry often centered on behavior modification, family discipline, and conservative activism rather than the clear proclamation of Paul’s gospel (1 Cor. 15:1–4) and I doubt there was ever any talk about our identification in Christ.

I’d also suggest we cannot confuse culture war victories with gospel triumphs. Only the gospel of grace reconciles sinners to God. Only the gospel of grace brings about true change in a person. Only the gospel of grace can actually transform a life.

So below is a list of contrasts between Dr. Dobson and the Apostle Paul:

* Dobson fought cultural decay. Paul preached new creation in Christ.

* Dobson emphasized external conformity to conservative values through discipline. Paul emphasized internal transformation by grace and God’s Word.

* Dobson stressed behavioral control, discipline, structure, and moral responsibility and that was oftentimes psychology-infused. Paul taught that sanctification is the outworking of our new identity in Christ and a renewed mind (Rom. 12:1-2). The Spirit strengthens the inner man (Eph. 3:16). Grace “teaches” us how to live (Titus 2:11-14).

* Dobson leaned on self-help and family discipline. Paul leaned on the sufficiency of God’s grace because of who God made him in Christ (2 Cor. 12:9-10).

* Dobson rarely made the gospel of salvation the centerpiece of his program. Focus was more on “saving the family” and “saving the culture” rather than “saving the soul.” Paul wrote, “I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified” (1 Cor. 2:2). The gospel is central, not secondary.

* Dobson’s gospel was cultural renewal. Paul’s gospel is Christ crucified for sinners and risen (1 Cor. 15:1-4).

* Dobson saw America as a “Christian nation” that needed revival through restored morality. He was active in politics and social reform. Paul teaches us that the Body of Christ is not America, or Israel, or any other nation. Paul’s attention was focused upon the “one new man” God’s forming out of Jews and Gentiles (Eph. 2:15) in ALL the nations.

* Dobson sought to redeem our country. Paul sought to help redeem people for eternal glory in heavenly places.

* Dobson had a fear of cultural collapse and a desire to preserve our heritage for future generations. Paul had no fears about a cultural collapse. He kept his mind on things above (Col. 3:1-2). He cared more about preserving moral values through the sound doctrines of grace (1 Tim. 1:2; 2 Tim. 2:2). What motivated Paul? Was it fear of a cultural collapse? No. The love of Christ constrained him (2 Cor. 5:14).

* Dobson’s model was, best case scenario, healthier families, moral laws, a few political wins—but in all of those things we find no guarantee of regeneration. Paul’s model was people transformed by the gospel, lives changed through the Word regardless of culture.

* Dobson measured success by cultural morality. Paul measured success by Christ being formed in believers (Gal. 4:19). Dobson’s version of family values is not equal to and does not translate into gospel values.

* Dr. Dobson helped shape families to try to reform a nation. Paul through the gospel helped turned every soul into a new creation.

One last note –political activism is diametrically opposed to the theme of focusing on families. If you’re going to be about families, be about families. When you’re focused on politics and endorsing candidates, you’re not focused on families.